Giving and Receiving: 2021 Resolve

Whew!  I am so thrilled we made it through 2020 and it's far in our review mirror.  I’ll be honest, there were a few moments I was holding my breath and lifting up a few prayers to the "Big Guy" up there.  The Big Question of the day is....did you make any New Year’s resolutions (NYR)??  What are your NYRs, pray tell?   I must say that I did not make any NYRs.  

In the 51 years that I’ve been on this earth I’ve never been successful at keeping my NYR.  NYR were more like something I said to be more interesting to someone else or be accepted by them but still had good intentions to do.  Lately, I’ve examined why I couldn’t achieve my NYRs.  

I think I finally understand why.  Many of them were made out of the belief that I “had” too because everyone else was making resolutions, then ask me about mine and I felt judged.  Or, the NYRs were just too lofty for me to achieve. Not lofty as in I set too high of goals, but that I didn’t have the skillset nor the guidance to truly achieve them.  In other words, they were way above my hairspray.  

Channeling all the wisdom I’ve gained over the years, I’ve come to this…. I don’t believe in resolutions, I believe in Resolves.  I make positive changes in my life by setting intentional and purposeful small courses of action in order to achieve each goal.   I know, I know… that’s a lot of words for saying, “Hey, I choose a few things I’d like to change in my life, figure out how to make it happen and then, set my course to make small improvements in order to achieve the greater picture.  Still a lot of words.  

I’m just taking my cues from Dr. Phil when he said that making small changes each day produces a greater change in the long run.  The first step is deciding on what I want to improve on.  There’s never a bad time to start making changes in your life, so, you don’t have to feel like you’ve missed the NYR boat and have to wait ’til Dec. 31, 2022.  In fact, waiting until the last minute to make “resolutions” is a good way to set yourself up for failure and personally, I’m through with failure.  

Maybe you are too and that’s why you’ve bothered to read further than the first few sentences of this blog.  Big Smiles on my end!  Oops, I got a little sidetracked there.  

OK, let’s get back to discovering where to begin in choosing some things to change.  I tend to focus on something I’ve been protecting my inner child from. The idea is to find something that has a little bit of risk and still not too far from your comfort zone.  This year I’m focusing on the art of Giving and Receiving.  "Giving" of myself honestly and giving a friend the opportunity to "Give" of themselves honestly.  Receiving to me in this Resolve means that I open myself up to receiving what my friend has to give to me, for example, maybe I really need their advice and I’m just too oblivious or proud to realize it.  

This probably sounds very obscure to you, but, It’s important to me right now because one of the biggest lessons I’m learning from my friends is that they don’t truly know me… the real me.  You see, I tend to spend more time listening to others and helping them with their problems.  I didn’t recognize that I wasn’t sharing my life with them in return.  I thought I was until I was playing a silly little "How much do you know your friend" kind of game and discovered, my friend didn't really know me.  

After over 20 years, she still didn't really know me.  She knew the surface me, but not the inner me.  So, this season in my life I’m stretching and sharing my “story” with my friends.  Upon further look, I saw how I wasn’t giving my friends a chance to listen to me and help me out with their advice or experiences.  Because of my own insecurities about trust, I’ve left my friends out of my life.  

I was taken aback when I discovered I’m in a one-sided relationship with some of my friends and didn’t even know it.   So, this week, this season, this year I'll be more present in every conversation I have.  What being more present means to me is to truly listen and watch as my friend speaks because there are a lot of clues I miss when I'm thinking about how to help them with their situation.  I sound like a therapist... I'm so far from that, but I do love to help my friends navigate through life's puzzles.  

So often I don't seize the opportunity to share my personal opinions in a conversation because I'm afraid that they wont be well received.  I'm a person who wants everyone to get along.  I'm not a pushover, I just don't like debating.  I like a true exchange of thoughts in order to learn and grow personally.  As I'm writing this, I'm recognizing that I need to get out of my own head and just trust that my friends will still see me as an unconditional friend and accept me even if I have different opinions than them.  

You know what?  I'm afraid and I don't need to be. I have already surrounded myself with Dreamers and Doers, Believers and Thinkers, Movers and Shakers.  Above all, I surround myself with people who see Greatness in Me who also Encourage me and Love me through every aspect of my life.  

My Giving and Receiving Resolve appears to be a living and breathing work of art.  A daily act of love and rediscovery.  Thank you for letting me share. I hope that you're encouraged to make some Resolves that will be a start to incredible and successful change in your life.  Be Greatly Blessed & Stay Groovy!  Always, Amy